Due south

Sat 1 and Sun 2 Feb 2014

After saying goodbye to the lovely people at Pai Park, we crossed the rickety bamboo bridge for the last time and boarded the moped with as many bags as we could carry. In town, Jamie dropped me and the bags at the bike rental shop and headed back to ferry the remainder, leaving me to help a clueless guy figure out how to open the seat, put in the key, and start the ped.

The moped was returned with no problems, and we crossed the road to 'Big's Little Cafe' for breakfast. Here a huge guy, who we're presuming is called Big, cooked up a feast of hash browns, eggs, beans, bacon, and toast in his tiny kitchen. Not long after we'd arrived, a group of 4 guys turned up and placed their order:

"4 hash brown specials (giant hash brown, 2 eggs, 2 bacon, tomato, and beans) and 4 jacket potatoes, 2 plain, 2 cheese."

"That's quite a lot of food, are you sure?" asked Big.

"Yeah, call it brunch, whatever," one arrogant guy rudely replied.

We sat back and watched Big at work. He was cool, calm, and collected and obviously had huge passion for his job. Sadly, we had to leave to catch our bus to Chiang Mai and missed the faces of the 4 Chinese as the mountain of food was presented.

After trying to get on 4 minivans headed to Chiang Mai, our actual bus arrived. We were at the back, and it was claustrophobically hot. The drive back to Chiang Mai would thankfully be the last on this hellish bendy road.

The minivan took us directly to the bus station where we booked our night bus to Bangkok with a very helpful Thai lady who gave us stacks of info and even took us to the bus to check it out before we paid.

On our big temple-exploring day in Chiang Mai a week or so back, we spotted an elephant toy which would make a great gift for James and Sarah's (my cousin & his wife who we'd be staying with in Hong Kong) little girl, Sabelle. We stupidly hadn't bought it at the time, so now we had a 2-hour window before our bus left where we could run into Chiang Mai and grab it.

We jumped onto a pickup and waited for it to fill. A group of four sulky girls got on and sat there miserable, complaining about the wait and the drop-off destination and looking thoroughly unimpressed. When we hopped off at Thapae Gate, we chatted about it and couldn't understand how you could ever be miserable traveling.

The shop where we'd seen the elephant for Sabelle felt like miles away, and fear set in as shops started to shut up for the night. We made it just in time and picked a brightly colored little elephant.

Straight back on a pickup, we had a good hour before our bus left. Time to get some dinner. I found a great little Thai place next to the bus depot which knocked up a cracking northern Thai noodle soup. Having a big Burmese influence, this soup was almost curry-like and topped with deep-fried noodles. It was delicious.

After finding the correct terminal and then the correct bay, we found our bus. Comfortable seats in a prime location (downstairs, directly behind the driver) gave us ample legroom. We were given a snack box with soya milk, water, and some sort of weird pastry for the journey. Being so stuffed from dinner, we didn't touch it... except for the milk, which was mental and not recommended.

We arrived in Mo Chit bus station at around 4am and booked onto the 5am bus to Koh Chang. When we followed the group all traveling the same route, we ended up at yet another minibus. Making a huge schoolgirl error, I headed straight to the back seat. This was the most uncomfortable place on the whole bus—no legroom and super hard seats. We stopped at every petrol station and were ushered off the bus. Sleep was an impossibility.

Just as we were approaching Trat, the driver pulled over, reversed up the motorway a bit, and called the stop for Koh Chang. Confused that we were on the side of a main road, we checked this was for us and grabbed our bags. When we got off the van, we saw the teeny travel agency and walked over. The lady said we had to wait for more people before we left. It was now 8:30. By about 9:45, we'd gathered enough people to fill the pickup, and we set off for the ferry.

The boat was quick, and the beautiful island was fast approaching. Weaving our way through the cars waiting to board the ferry, we made it to the pickup stand where we agreed on a price and once again waited for it to fill. By this time, it was half eleven, and we'd been on the road for 22 hours. We hit a huge traffic jam as taxis, pickups, and mopeds tried to break through the ocean of cars waiting for the ferry.

After a bit of beeping and a lot of people getting out of their vehicles, the traffic began to clear, and we were off. On the pickup with us were two French Canadians who were very snooty about our choice of beach, a loaded Chinese gay couple who were confidently dishing out incorrect info about the resorts and beaches, and a French lady who shortly started to chat with the Canadians, in French, about which beach would be the best to stay at.

We were dropped last at Lonely Beach. I say beach, but we were dropped in the town, which is fronted by a rocky shore with zero sand. After asking around, we started to walk to the beach resort. Luckily, it was only a couple of minutes from the town; unluckily, it was shit. Their cheapest room was 450 baht, buried at the back with about 4 huts in front of it. The stairs were wobbly, the bed was covered in ants. There was no hot water and no WiFi, and there were a million places mosquitoes would get in.

The beach and pool out the front were nice enough, but it wasn't quite what we'd imagined for our final Thai beach stop. We had a quick beer and decided to go back to Kaibe Beach (the resort one before Lonely).

By now, we were both exhausted and just wanted the traveling and bag carrying to be over, but we had to find somewhere better.

At Kaibe, we asked around for cheap resorts and were pointed to the beach. We carried our packs down and chanced it at the first beachside place. Rooms for 500 and a golf buggy to take us and our bags to check it out. Ideal.

The hut was right on the beach, and it was beautiful. The beach was nice enough but nothing spectacular—it was made up of a long, thin stretch of sand, barely wide enough for a beach towel. We ate at the 'Porn Bungalow' restaurant, which served up a delicious red curry and chicken wontons, whilst our room was being cleaned. Jamie found two perfectly positioned palms, and we strung up the hammock and enjoyed a very well-needed rest after the 26-hour travelathon from Pai.

That evening we did some research and found a beach on another island called 'Paradise' on Koh Wai. It sounded perfect, described as a picture-postcard beach with gin-clear waters and a reef off the shore. Although the thought of another early morning and another move was unbearable, it just didn't feel right at Kaibe. Here, it felt like one big package holiday resort, not a Robinson Crusoe getaway, and with so many beautiful islands in Thailand, we had to risk a move before we left for good.

We checked the ferry times at our hotel, who kindly arranged a pickup and drop-off on a speedboat the following morning.

That evening, we checked our emails at a cafe with WiFi and sorted the postage of our laptop. This is when I spotted my Neknomination. I was so excited, and over dinner, we discussed all kinds of crazy things we'd put in the video. We were going to a place that probably wouldn't have WiFi, so the post would be late, but at least we could get lots of filming done.

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