Monkey juice

Dosa was the new breakfast experience of the day. The huge crepe-like cylinder was twice as big as the plate. It came served with two curried dishes—one sweet and creamy, the other brick red and spicy. Upon closer inspection, the dosa was filled with lightly spiced potato and onions.

After a room swap and a rest, we made our way to the river. Just missing the boat, we had a fair wait, but happy to enjoy the first bit of sun we'd seen so far in Hampi, we took a pew on the stone steps and awaited the arrival of more people to fill the boat. And more people did arrive—with all their wares.

Our tuk-tuk driver found us as soon as we got off the boat. He had the most beautiful pale green eyes, shockingly different from the usual big brown eyes of India. We cut a deal for 300 rupees return, including waiting time for us to scale the 500-plus steps to the top. Accompanying our driver was his 7-year-old helper, who took the wheel while the driver push-started the rickshaw.

The kid hopped out of the front, the driver reclaimed his seat, and off we went. Seconds later, the assistant climbed into the back behind us, grinning ear to ear. The driver explained that there was a queue system for the drivers and to say we paid just 200—a price not worth arguing over for the extra business. Apprehensively, we played along; the whole situation felt a little suspect.

Overtaking the queue of tuk-tuk drivers, a second "helper" climbed aboard. A very painful and bumpy ride took us straight to the first steps of the Hanuman (Monkey) Temple. Our helpers followed behind us, waving a stick and asking for 100 rupees. Naively, we told them we didn’t need a monkey stick and sent them on their way.

With bananas in hand, we started the ascent. A mere 50 steps in, we were greeted by the monkeys—some little, some waist-height, but all totally unafraid of us, making the whole ascent rather unnerving.

Then there was the floor show. This stomach-wrenching display of public affection started with two monkeys having a good time and ended with one monkey enjoying the mess he'd made. I'll let you use your imaginations to break that not-so-cryptic code. For those with a delicate composition, don’t look too closely.

Up and up the steps we went, regretting the refusal of the stick, until suddenly we made the top. On this mountain made of boulders stood a small temple in honour of Hanuman, the monkey reincarnation of Vishnu.

Stretching out for 360 degrees was the stunning landscape of Hampi. The silver river glistened in the afternoon light and wove between the boulder mountains that housed the city's ancient ruins. We could see the main bazaar in Hampi town, with the tip of Virupaksha jutting up towards the sky in the southwest and, to the east, the huge boundaries of the Vittala Temple, where we’d been told the tale of Rama and Sita.

Stepping with care, we walked across the boulders that made up the summit and looked in absolute awe at the beauty beneath us. Before making our way back, we were entertained by a family of monkeys who tumbled and leaped across the temple tops.

In no time, we were back where we started on the bumpy road to Hampi.

The following day, we woke early to pack and see the temple elephant have her early morning bath in the river. The river was full of people coming for their pre-prayer bath. Each would lather into a big white foamy bubble and ceremoniously dunk under the water. Women were washing and beating the dirt out of their laundry on rocks, and once clean, the linens were stretched out to dry on the sloped rocks that led down to the river's edge.

After waiting and waiting, no elephant came. We went back to pack and check out when Jamie got sick. After trying to recover quickly and failing, the excellent decision to cancel the night bus and book another night in Archana was made.

In Jamie’s own disgusting words: "If you put a nail through my middle, I’d look like a badly illuminated watery Catherine wheel."

Two days of bed rest, lemon teas, bread, and litres of water later, he was hydrated enough to make the trip on the night bus to Gokarna.

‍