The last Asian beach Paradise

Mon 3 - 8 Feb 2014

We woke up early to obtain the parcel emails from our laptop, but on checking our emails, none had been sent. There was nothing else we could do. It would be unlikely that we'd have Wifi on Koh Wai. We'd have to leave it in the hands of fate (and my brother).

Whilst we'd been checking the status on the wifi, we'd ordered a couple of coffees and a bottle of Chang in readiness of my neknomination filming. We'd rushed off excitedly to film some lazy swaying on a beach swing we'd spotted up the shore. Just as we'd captured the money shot, and realised how atrocious my acting skills were, we were approached by the waiter.

We hadn't paid. It was so embarrassing. Caught red-handed with a bottle of beer at about 8:30am, dicking around on the beach and giggling, we must've looked like we'd tried to do a runner. The next 5 minutes was a frantic, awkward rush. The pickup was waiting for us, we were waiting for our change, and the other jet-set-ready tourists were waiting for us... looking less than amused.

The pickup took us a full 100 meters to the pier where our speedboat was waiting. This would make for another excellent bit of filming, so I climbed aboard, Chang in hand, grabbed a seat at the back, strapped into a rather fetching life jacket, and posed for the camera.

The boat went pretty fast, giving us great satisfaction about travelling in style. No sooner had we seen Koh Chang disappear behind us than we glimpsed the beautiful beach that would become our new home. Koh Wai was spectacular. The water was crystal clear, and the beach was postcard perfect, as promised.

Walking along the jetty, we could see the fish swimming beneath us. At the first stop, I enquired about rooms... Full.

At Paradise Beach, there were no rooms either. Shit! I left the big bags and Jamie behind to check out the next resort, a good 20-minute walk away.

The small, rocky coast path was covered in tree roots and small stones, making it pretty treacherous. The longer I walked before finding a place, the more I thought about how much harder it would be with our bags. I reached a huge resort and was shown to a horrible room in a block (like a dull, boring, ugly block of flats), with no loo, no wifi, and no character. There was one more resort, so I carried on along the rocky path to the end of the island. Sweaty, panting, and looking pretty desperate, the guy looked totally devastated as he turned me away. He knew I'd tried everywhere else and that I had a long walk back.

Backup plans quickly started to consume my thoughts. It would either be the shitty, expensive box room in the posh resort or another island. Just as I was about to check out another expensive room lacking any charm, I saw Jamie.

He brought brilliant news and company for the walk back. Paradise did in fact have a room for us. It was a beautiful new wooden hut with a fantastic view out over the idyllic bay.

At about 9am every morning, boats would come thick and fast, dropping off groups of Russians who visited the beach presumably just to take photos. They would spend hours resting against palms, practising their pouts, and shamelessly thrashing about in the shallows to get the perfect 'sexy' paradise snap—And that's just the guys.

Regardless of this, our time on Koh Wai was simple. In the day, we did morning yoga, read, enjoyed the beach, and snorkelled the spectacular reef just off the shore. When 3pm came daily, the Russians left, and Jamie played volleyball with the locals and other residents. At night, we'd have 4 hours of power. This was enough to charge the cameras, eat dinner, and read ourselves to sleep.

It took us 3 days just to check out the second beach, a whole 3-minute walk away... We also managed to make it to the horrendously slow internet once. This was located at the posh resort, a good 20 minutes walk away. It was here we learned about our old LV= colleagues' win for Team of the Year, an amazing achievement for everyone involved in the resolv= project. We're both tremendously proud that the tool is still going strong!

We met some lovely people, in particular a dreadlocked half-French, half-Italian bar owner who now lives in Greece with his Greek wife and baby. They were a lovely family who had been visiting the island for many years. The baby was adorable and was happy just to wander off fearlessly.

We happened to return to the mainland the same day as them, and thankfully little Alica was well-behaved. The slow boat was 300 baht and took us all the way back to mainland Thailand, meaning we could miss Koh Chang out altogether. It took about 3 hours, but we had time to burn, so just sat back and enjoyed the views of the outlying islands.

At the ferry port, we got into a pickup and got dropped directly at the bus station in Trat—here we made it just in time to get the 11:30 bus directly to the airport.

We arrived soon after 5pm and went to check in. As our flight was due to leave at 2am, we wouldn't be able to check in until 11. Our flight had been changed and we wouldn't be leaving until 4:30am. After pleading to check in and getting nowhere, we decided to burn the last of our Thai monies on dinner and wine, but with the heavy airport prices, dinner and water was all we could stretch to.

We found a cafe with free wifi and decided to kill the time by editing and uploading my neknominate video. This literally took the full time from 6pm - 11pm and caused us much unnecessary stress and frustration, but the end product was a success.

At the check-in desk, we ditched our big bags, got our boarding passes, and a delayed departure apology meal coupon worth £5 each. Finally, in the terminal, we used our coupon to buy soothing red wine. We did some overtired shopping for wine (for James and Sarah) and makeup. Luckily, we pulled off both and ended up with some high-quality goods.

At the gate, we tried to sleep, only to nod off just before departure. The flight was quick, we slept a bit, and then hopped on the train to HK Island. It dawned on us that my cousin hadn't replied to our last two emails and maybe wasn't expecting us. I searched emails for a phone number, but our Thai sim was invalid and wouldn't work. At Central Station, we changed up some HK dollar for a payphone. It took an age to work out how to make the call, and when we eventually figured it, it just rang and rang. We wouldn't be able to get in touch to give some warning of our arrival.

They must've seen the emails though. Maybe James was too busy with work to respond or simply forgot to reply. It would be fine.

Remembering my best Chinese pronunciation, we got in a cab and asked for "bor-low-doh."

The cab driver nodded and started the engine. We wound our way up the hill, and at Kennedy Road, I knew we were close.

"Here, please," I called when I spotted the huge cream tower. The doorman greeted us and called the lift for floor 7. We knocked at the door and were greeted by a confused and sleepy-looking James. Once he'd looked past Jamie (a complete stranger who he'd never met, smiling back at him at 9am on a Saturday morning), he spotted me and welcomed us in.

James had missed our emails, and our arrival was a complete surprise. I felt awful and made a mental note to double-check we're expected next time we stay with friends or family.

We had a quick catch-up and then went to bed to catch up on a big lack of sleep before heading out to explore Central HK. Still feeling exhausted, we had a lovely veg spag bol and an early night.

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